If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
