she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
