Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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