i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
