I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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