Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
