she woke up with a sticky ear
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
