If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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