so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
