I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
