i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
This is my life. Enjoy the view
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