Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
