The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Your penis caused this!
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