Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
