I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
