is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I cut my penus on the lid.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
