Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
