the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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