I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
