Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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