Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
