I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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