Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
