Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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