Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
