you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
