One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
