Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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