I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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