So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
