She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
