o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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