Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
