quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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