There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
