Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
