the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
