Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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