You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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