I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
