so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
