The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
