We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
