Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Randomize
