somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
