Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
