Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
