i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
