Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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