I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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