Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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