You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
