so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
